


The sight of the stars makes me dream.....

by GinDiva



Category: Berena - Fandom, Holby City
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Military, Berena Appreciation Week, Domestic Fluff, F/F, Fluff, Multi, Not Suitable/Safe For Work, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-17
Updated: 2017-07-23
Packaged: 2018-12-03 00:26:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11520672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GinDiva/pseuds/GinDiva
Summary: A home for the seven days of prompts for Berena Appreciation Week on tumblr.





	1. Day 1 - Here's a tip for you......

**Author's Note:**

> Day 1 #tropes - I always write AU, so here is some domestic fluff for you for a change....

“Berenice Wolfe” Bernie knew she was in trouble. Serena never called her Berenice at any other time.

“Yes darling I’m here.” Bernie replies sweetly

“Where is my chest of drawers?”

“I’m sorry I didn’t quite catch that?” Bernie follows the sound of her girlfriend’s voice, chasing the sighs and huffs up to Serena’s bedroom, well actually their bedroom now.

“I said, where is my chest of drawers? It was here this morning and now it is gone. Look you can still see the imprint in the carpet. Where is it?”

“I don’t know. I suppose at the tip by now.” Bernie tries to act nonchalantly but the increasing ire in Serena’s voice is beginning to suggest that she isn’t going to like the surprise Bernie has organised for her.

If Bernie could find a bunker right now she would dive into it and take cover as the thunderous expression on Serena’s face does not bode well.

“Care to tell me why my furniture is at the tip?” Bernie can hear the effort Serena is making to keep her voice even. They have only officially been living together for a month. It’s only been two months since Serena returned to Holby. They have been dancing around each other a little tentatively during that time, learning their relationship anew. Bernie thought it would be a good idea, clearly not.

“Well as long as we have been together you have been complaining about it. The drawer sticks, the wood is too dark, I need something bigger. I thought you would appreciate me using my initiative for once and it was my day off after all. I was hoping we could go shopping together tomorrow. Pick something we both like. Something new, something different. Sort of reflective of our relationship.”

Serena softens. Realises this is one of Bernie’s ways of committing to them. She rarely says I love you, doesn’t talk about forever, hates to even plan for next year but she buys furniture. Big, bulky bedroom furniture instead, wants to mark her place in Serena’s life in wood.

“At least tell me you emptied it first.” Serena’s expression more gentle now although still with a tinge on annoyance. Bernie’s impulsive nature sometimes a bit too much for Serena’s more ordered lifestyle preferences.

“Of course. There happen to be a few items of your lingerie I would be devastated never to see again. It’s all packed into boxes, labelled by drawer at Jason’s insistence of course. They are stacked up in the spare room.”

Serena lets out a deep sigh and smiles properly for the first time since she arrived home from her shift. “Well that’s a relief!” As much as she believes Bernie, she is compelled to check for herself, just as Bernie knew she would.

“Bernie where did you put the envelope?” Serena is back in the bedroom.

“What envelope?”

“Stop teasing and hand it over Ms Wolfe.”

“Serena, there was no envelope.”

 

That is how Bernie finds herself at the rubbish dump on the only day that she and Serena have off together. Not shopping for new furniture as she planned but literally climbing through mountains of old furniture from all over Holby, hunting for the very piece she paid someone to take away.

“Have you found it yet?” Serena cries out of the car window where she has resolutely remained for the last hour while Bernie has been on her crazy scavenger hunt.

“Serena it’s not here.”

“It must be. You are just not looking hard enough.” Bernie bristles at the patronising tone. She was an army major, highly regarded trauma surgeon, she knows the what bloody thing looks like and it’s not here.

“Feel free to come in here and check.” Bernie snaps back irritably. The blonde is even more annoyed to see that her girlfriend is not even paying attention.

“BERNIE.”

“What!”

“There.” Serena is pointing and waggling her finger frantically.

Bernie turns to see a van loaded with all kinds of appliances and other treasures trundling towards to exit and there peeking out at the back is that bloody chest of drawers. Hurdling out of the skip, Bernie chases down the van, the driver looks a little startled at the woman banging on his window.

After a heated dispute about ownership of contents of items sent to the tip and 20 quid lighter Bernie finally recovers the mysterious envelope, it is white, padded, about A1 in size and sealed shut.

“Thank goodness for that.” Serena says when the item is safely back in her grasp.

“What on earth is in that anyway?”

“It’s personal.”

“Well technically it’s mine. My 20 quid after all.” Serena has that “don’t fuck with me” face that convinces Bernie to shut up.

 

“Can I see what’s in the envelope?” Bernie is rubbing Serena’s feet, knows how much Serena likes it.

“No.” Serena’s voice firm and resolute.

 

“Can I see what’s in the envelope?” Bernie is carding her fingers through Serena’s steel grey hair, making her writhe and gasp.

“Still no.” Serena sighs out exasperatedly.

 

“Can I see what’s in the envelope?” Bernie is kissing Serena’s neck right on that one spot that Bernie knows she can’t resist.

“For goodness sake, if I show you will you leave it be?” Bernie’s answering grin is all she needs and with a final huff Serena rises and disappears off.

When Serena returns she hands the envelope to Bernie. “Promise me you won’t laugh or get mad.”

“OK.” Bernie is a bit hesitant, suddenly nervous of what she will find but she slips her finger under the flap of the envelope and prises the glued paper apart. Inside are about a half dozen sheets of thick paper and Bernie gasps in surprise as she slides them out, leafing through each carefully.

“Serena. This is me.”

“I know that."

"But when? How?"

"I learned to paint when I was away. I wanted to paint Elinor too but it was too painful, so I painted what made me happy. I painted you.” Serena glances up and sees the moisture pooling in her lover’s eyes.

“I’m glad you made me get these back." Bernie hesitates as she skims through the pages once more. "Serena?" Serena hums a little noise out as she watches her lover's perplexed face. "Why am I naked in them all?”

“I missed you.” Is the simple reply.


	2. The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Firsts. Their first shared hobby....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title of the chapter is a quote from John Bingham

“That Lycra suits you.” Serena is reclined on the sofa, feet up with a cup of tea in hand. Bernie is stretching, not an unusual occurrence as she does it, Serena thinks, before and after every run. Serena is not an early riser, unless she has to be up for work, and then it is a quick cup of coffee a bite of toast and out the door. Bernie is an early riser. Usually has stretched, run, stretched again and showered before Serena even stirs. Today she is late up, Serena still on continental time was awake early and even her habitual run could not remove her from her lover’s embrace. Especially not when the lover in question was in the process of showing in exquisite detail just how much she had missed her. So today Bernie was running later than usual, stretching later than usual and Serena was most certainly admiring the view.

“Are you perving on me Ms Campbell?”

“Most definitely Ms Wolfe.” Serena’s face contorts into a frown. If Jason was here he would be counting the lines, but if Jason was here she would not be just staring at Bernie’s arse quite so wantonly. “Can you go back to doing that other stretchy thing? The one you were doing before. I liked that one more than this.”

“I’m trying to get my muscles warmed up for my run, not give you a show Serena.” Despite her words she acquiesces and repeats the lunge stretch, enjoys the sound of the resulting purr in Serena’s throat. “If you really like the view perhaps you should start to run with me?” Bernie is teasing her, Serena knows it and snorts in derision, instead reaches for a biscuit to dunk in her tea.

The words play in Serena’s brain for the remainder of the day. She had walked a lot while on sabbatical, she was fitter than when she left all those months ago. Perhaps it was not such a crazy idea after all. Bernie definitely enjoyed it and now that she was back and they were together again, perhaps they should do more things together. It could be a shared hobby.

Serena had been persuaded once before to think about running; a health initiative at the hospital but before she even took her first stride, the total alcohol ban had been pointed out and Serena turned on her heel and walked away. Rather have an unhealthy, Shiraz filled existence than live a long miserable teetotal life.

Hunting around in her wardrobe though she pulled out the discarded running clothes she had bought at the time. They were not the tight fitting, fancy looking Lycra that Bernie wore so wonderfully well but they would pass muster and she was only trying it out after all.

It was when they were settled together in bed that night that Serena raised the idea again. Bernie was sat up in bed beside her, glasses pulled down to the end of her nose as she flicked over the pages of her book.

“Bernie?”

“Hmm.”

“I was thinking.”

“Dangerous habit that.” Serena shoved Bernie playfully but it was enough for Bernie to mark her page and push the glasses up into her hair, focus entirely on Serena now.

“Maybe we should start doing more together, have more shared interests.”

“Darling we live together, work together, drink together. If we share much more we might just merge into one.” Bernie is only half joking but she sees the shadow pass across Serena’s face and she relents. “Sorry, carry on I am listening.”

“I thought maybe I could try running with you. Just see what it is like.” The surprise on Bernie’s face is evident and Serena is suddenly worried that this is not what Bernie wants and she feels her confidence wane. “I mean my therapist did say I should do more exercise. That it would help, but you are right it is probably a silly idea.”

“It would be lovely to have you come with me. If that is what you want.” Serena smiles and Bernie leans over to place a soft kiss on her lips. “Tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow.”

 

Serena has never been there when Bernie has got changed for her run before. If she had she would have known this before. She did not and now it is all she can think about.

Bernie is running ahead, as she knew she would, Serena’s lungs are already burning and she is hot from the exertion that her body is not used to. Her eyes though cannot leave Bernie’s lithe form, Bernie’s arse. It was attractive enough before but now she knows just how enticing it is. She knows that Bernie runs commando. She is not wearing a stitch of material under that Lycra and oh my, it is such a turn on that Serena cannot concentrate.

Serena is so totally lost in the images of Bernie’s sweaty naked body under that stretchy fabric that she fails to see the curb, misses her footing and hits the deck. Bernie is beside her immediately, checking her over, sees that not too much is hurt beyond her pride. Shoots the kids across the road sniggering and pointing her best “I’m a trained killing machine” look and helps Serena to her feet again.

“Are you OK?” Bernie’s arm is wrapped around her and she pulls her in close.

“Yes fine. I just didn’t see the step.”

Bernie notices the slight hobble in her step and her brows knit together. “Can you make it home?”

“I think so.”

“Here, lean into me. It’s not far.”

Serena would rather be making it home under her own steam but her knee is stinging where she landed hard on the tarmac surface and she is grateful for the arm around her waist, the soothing touch of Bernie’s fingers at her side. They stay that way all the way back and Bernie helps her through the door, Serena pulling her into a grateful hug the moment the door closes behind them. Breathing deeply, she can detect the clean, fresh scent of Bernie’s skin and she kisses at her neck where the sweat has pooled slightly in the heat of the day, finds her earlier state of arousal rekindling at the smell and the taste.

“Shall I help you upstairs and run you a bath?” Bernie leans away and tilts Serena’s chin to meet her gaze, soft and caring.

Serena smiles gratefully and keeps her arms loosely around her lover’s waist. “I know this was my idea, but I’m sorry Bernie, I’m not sure running is for me.” Bernie gives her a half-smile. That smug ‘I knew it already but love you enough to try’ smile.

“I think we have plenty of mutual interests already, so this not being one won’t hurt.” Bernie is looking at her kindly and Serena’s heart swells with love. Bernie smile turns into a smirk, a very dirty smirk that Serena has come to know well. “We can always add showering together after my run to the list of shared activities if you like.”

Serena imagines watching Bernie peel the skin tight Lycra from her otherwise naked body each morning, smelling the sweat on her skin and roaming her hands across the taut surface. “I can live with that.”

“Now is as good a time as any.” Bernie scoops Serena into her arms and carries her upstairs.

Serena loves running now, well loves Bernie running at least. Loves that they did it together once, it was the first and the last time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Embedded in this is a little nod to the 2 truths game Serena and Elinor played in their last conversation together. I've included facets in either Bernie or Serena of two things that are true about me, I won't reveal them so it is just for fun ;)


	3. Perilously close to love……

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 3 Prompt: Pre-Series

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do love a high school story. This is written so it could conceivably fit with canon. I hope you enjoy reading as much as I liked writing this one....

There she is; the blue-clad Peril herself.

Serena can see her out of the home team changing room; the mop of messy blonde hair hurtling up and down the side of pitch with abandon. This is the match every year that the St Winnie’s girls’ hockey team dread.

That girl has been the destroyer of many a shinbone, thigh, ankle and even tooth in her years. The drop-out rate of players always peaks just before the grudge match meeting of Holby Girls Grammar and St Winifred’s and surely that is no coincidence.

Serena McKinnie has never had to face “The Peril” before. She has always been far enough down the team sheet that she didn’t even make the bench, but this year has seen an unprecedented spike in twisted ankles, stomach bugs and great aunt’s funerals. Maybe in part or whole due to the events of the teams’ last meeting, where the match was delayed while they waited for the ambulance to arrive.

Serena knows the story, every one of the St Winnie’s team knows the story. Holby Grammar’s fearsome right midfielder hooked the ankle of their fullback, sent her tumbling to the floor with a sickening crunch of bone on frozen ground. It is just the latest episode in the five year campaign of terror that this one girl has waged against the young bodies of her opposing teams, but this year will be the last. Serena has already heard that this is her final year before finishing school; the fear factor ramped up by rumours of her wanting to go out with a real bang this year. Everyone wonders if it will be their poor body that will be the proving ground for her ambition.

 

Nerves are high in the changing rooms. The captain has laid out a plan of attack, quite a good one. Her plan to deal with the Peril is not so cunning. “Just stay out of her way, if you can” is not going to be earning her motivational speaker of the year anytime soon but in the absence of anything else it is all they have.

They hear the call and it is time to take the field and face their demons or perhaps just one particularly competitive blonde demon. “Come on girls, we can win it this year. Let’s get out there and get them.” The room erupts into cheers, some more half-hearted than others and Serena will swear that she hears the captain offering up a quick prayer to God that they all survive.

 

The match is going as expected. It is a tight fought game, scores level at 1-1. The Peril has already taken out one of the players, hockey ball to the temple this time, and Serena is the next available substitute. She crosses her fingers and toes that everyone else remains standing, as she is not sure she could face the terror of that hockey assassin.

Even as she watches the match her eyes are drawn to the blonde and the sight of how fit and how fast she is. Not an inch of spare fat anywhere, her short hockey skirt only emphasising how impossibly long and lean her legs are.  Serena might have been staring because when she looks up the blonde is watching her, a wolfish grin on her face. She looks like she might devour her any minute and the thought wracks her body with a shiver of fear.

Moments later a sharp stick to the boot of their left fullback and she is hobbling off the field. A glance up to the Peril reveals the tell-tale smirk of her guilt, her eyes casting over to the bench where Serena is fretfully rising to her feet.

For the most part Serena manages to heed the captain’s advice and avoid any contact with the blonde but it could not last forever. It’s into the last minute of the game and St Winnie’s have lost the ball. Who else but the Peril is barrelling straight towards Serena, a glance around reveals, there is no-one else who can get close enough to stop her. It’s down to Serena, either she tackles her or she is clean through on goal and a shot at handing Holby victory. Serena grits her teeth against the pain she knows is coming and pokes a stick out, catching the ball, and it bobbles free.

There is a brief moment where her eyes meet the blonde’s dark ones before Serena nips the ball away and starts running, she knows that it won’t be more than a few strides before the blonde catches her, the difference in speed between them is too great. She runs on anyway, doesn’t look back, just keeps going until she sees an opening, one of her forwards is in space ahead and she just needs to slot the ball through. Serena takes a deep breath and swings, the satisfying crack of the hockey stick against plastic tells her she has a clean hit, she has the direction spot on too. Her forward runs onto it, shimmies the keeper and cracks the ball, the thump as it smacks the backboard of the goal raising a cheer from the home fans.

Serena is a bit too tired from the running to go across to celebrate with the rest of the team. She is still bent double gasping in air when she hears the rustle of fabric next to her.

“Nice pass.” When Serena glances up, the Peril is stood close by, eyes off into the distance watching the celebrations of the St Winnie’s players.

“Thanks.” Serena just about manages to respond while gulping down air. It’s strange she thinks as she turns to walk away, the girl next to her doesn’t seem tired out from chasing her at all.

 

When Serena emerges from the dressing room, most of her team have already gone and the only person in sight is her blonde adversary, who is leaning casually against the wall nearby. For a crazy moment Serena thinks she is waiting for her, but as quickly as it comes to mind, Serena discounts it and shakes her head.

“Over for another year then.” Serena looks around for who she is talking to. It was definitely the blonde that spoke but her double-check confirms that there is nobody else around. When Serena looks up the dark eyes are trained on her, the face open and expectant.

“I guess so.” Serena murmurs, looking at the girl for a moment she moves to turn and leave but something in the blonde’s face, a flash of disappointment perhaps, stops her in her tracks and makes her spin back around. “I… I understand this is your last year. Off to university next year?”

“Yes… and you?” The girl is watching her with narrowed eyes

“Yes. What are you studying?”

“Medicine.” The blonde replies almost shyly

“Oh, me too.” Serena’s voice betraying her surprise at their common career choice.

“Perhaps we’ll meet on the hockey pitch?” The girl’s mouth is upturned slightly in a half-smile and if she was not such a fright on the pitch Serena might almost say she looked cute.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but I really hope not.” Serena’s tone is serious but teasing and the girl suddenly breaks out into the most extraordinary laugh Serena has ever heard in her life. It is like an asthmatic donkey struggling to breathe and she can’t help but join in.

Never in her life did she think she would be stood sharing a laugh with the blonde who has appeared in so many of her school mates nightmares over the years but here they are. When they finally regain their breath, Serena looks up to see a twinkle in girl’s brown eyes and she feels her body tingle, a rush of heat starts to burn at her skin.

It might be the flush that draws her nearer but something triggers the blonde to push herself away from the wall she has been propped up against and step over to lean beside Serena. Their bodies so close that Serena can feel her warmth radiating.

“I was beginning to wonder earlier how many of your players I had to, ahem, help off the field before they would bring you on. I was relieved when you finally made it to the pitch.”

Serena is confused. Why would she want Serena on the pitch? If she had wanted to hurt her she easily could have.

As if reading her thoughts, the blonde spoke again, a deep, soft sound that Serena had to lean into to catch. “I could have taken that ball back from you without a second glance you know.”

“Then why didn’t you?” Serena looks up, their faces are so close and she sees the darkness in the other girl’s eyes. Finally realisation hits her and her own gaze widens, a sudden sharp intake of breath involuntarily bidden and she sees the girl’s eyes track down to her lips. She knows what the blonde wants, what they both want and she leans herself towards it in anticipation, eyelids fluttering shut.

“McKinnie” It is the team captain calling from down the corridor. “Are you coming to celebrate with us or what?”

When Serena turns back the blonde has stepped away and is leaning once more against the wall nearby. “Just coming.” Serena calls back and with a last rueful smile jogs off to join the team. One last backwards glance and their gazes meet before the blonde swishes her hair and walks in the opposite direction.

Serena realises then, she doesn’t even know her name. Supposes she could ask one of her team, but perhaps it is for the best. They shared one beautiful moment together, why spoil it by wanting anything more. It not like they will ever meet again anyway.


	4. Like somewhere past the end of the world….

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 4: Prompt - AU  
> What would have happened if it had not been Alex that Bernie kissed in the heat of the desert?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title taken from a quote from Rinsai Rossetti "Pale sky, white land, like somewhere past the end of the world"

Bernie always loved the chance to expand her skills; expand those of the team around her. That was what she was good at after all. Making her little pack of trainee army medics the best they can be.

What she did not love was being told by some bright spark a thousand miles from the heat and dust of this desert, some desk jockey who had probably never seen the devastation a blast causes to the limbs of man, that what she needed was some NHS doctor to show them how to stitch an artery neatly.

It was not her decision though. The powers that be were becoming increasingly concerned at the number of UK personnel suffering traumatic limb amputations, or more likely the associated costs, and they were looking to leverage as much expertise as possible.

So now Bernie stood waiting for the inbound Merlin helicopter that was bringing this S. Campbell to their compound. An NHS consultant surgeon, hardly someone suitable for the rigours of the Afghan desert, he would probably arrive wearing a suit.

The woman who emerged from the Merlin was needless to say not what she was expecting. She was probably about her own age, maybe slightly younger, dark hair, dark eyes, more curvaceous than Bernie’s athletically toned limbs and sporting a glittering smile that stole the air from Bernie’s lungs.

“Serena Campbell. Consultant surgeon, Holby City Hospital.” The brunette offered her hand and Bernie grasped it firmly, before guiding the newcomer towards the waiting Jeep.

“Major Berenice Wolfe. Royal Army Medical Corps. Trauma specialist.”

“So it is your team that I am here to work with is that correct?” Bernie can see Serena’s face turned towards her out of the corner of her eye. She doesn’t meet her gaze, keeps her stare fixed ahead and tightens her jaw even more.

“So they tell me.” Bernie can hear the bite in her tone, she knows it was not the decision of this woman to force her troops into training, but she cannot keep the bitterness at bay. The brunette turns her head back and they walk on in silence.

Bernie is grateful to be able to sit the consultant in the back of the jeep and take her place up front. She can feel the dark eyes watching her, heat rising in her neck that has nothing to do with the Afghan sun. She feels like this is a test. The strongest test yet of her resolve. She will observe and learn and keep her distance.

 

Bernie quickly learns her mistake. Serena is not a woman who will allow you to keep your distance from her. After the first day of training they are gathered together in the mess hall, Bernie sits alone and watches Serena with the rest of her team. They are all laughing, joking and flirting; she thinks more than one of the young men has a crush on her, the way they fall over themselves to get her a drink, push her chair in, help her to her feet. For some reason Bernie finds she cannot watch; that it is all too much and she rises from her seat, her appetite lost.

She is outside when Serena finds her. Jaw set firm, smoking and staring off into the desert skies above.

“Do you not want me here Major?” Bernie should not be surprised at the directness of the question. The woman exudes self-confidence from every pore.

“It was not my decision, no.” Bernie’s eyes set firm into the distance.

“Do you think there is nothing I can teach you or your team?” Bernie detects an ever so slight wobble in the tone, a chink in her armour perhaps.

“You are an exceptionally talented surgeon from what I have seen.” She exhales a long stream of smoke out and watches it spiral and vanish in the rust orange hue of the night sky.

“I would say the same about you. I’m here to teach, yes, but I am also here to learn. Learn about trauma surgery. I am a perfectionist Bernie, I only wanted to learn from the best and I had to come to a desert to do that.” It sounds like a line to Bernie’s ears but when she turns and looks into Serena’s face there is only open honesty there. “Will you give me the chance to learn from you?” Bernie purses her lips, eyes narrowed in reflection before she gives a small nod and for the first time since they met she feels her lips curve in a smile.

 

Bernie joins the rest of the team in the mess hall the next night, finds she cannot keep away. She, like the rest of the team, wants to sit and listen to the stories of strange illnesses and procedures, the quirks and foibles of the various doctors and nurses that Serena works with day in day out. So detached, so different to the world that she inhabits. Only Captain Dawson doesn’t join them, she watches Serena with a careful gaze, Bernie knows Serena sees it too.

 

A suicide bomb blast the next day means that the training sessions are put on hold, all RAMC personnel are required in the tent that serves as their trauma bay. Serena stood to the side, allowed to observe them at work. It is not pleasant, some of the injuries are too severe and Bernie has to let them bleed out and focus their resources on those they have a chance to save.

Serena it seems is not one to stand on the side-lines for long as she pleads with the army surgeon to let her do something and regardless of protocol Bernie capitulates, they need all the help they can get. It is then that Bernie finally appreciates why they sent Serena Campbell to teach her troops. The skill and dexterity with which she repairs an artery is like nothing Bernie has ever witnessed. They work so seamlessly with each other, stemming bleeds, stitching lacerated bodies back together that Bernie feels the loss of her presence when they are called to separate surgeries.

After all the surgeries are completed, Bernie looks around for the now familiar brown haired figure but she is not in sight. Bernie worries, it is an unusual thing to be stitching the body of the man you sat laughing with at dinner last night or the woman who smiled and nodded as you past each other on the base, she has become desensitised to it, Serena has not had the luxury.

Bernie finds her, sat down outside the tent, a bottle of water held in shaking hands. Bernie sits next to her, pulls her crumpled cigarette packet from her fatigues pocket and offers her one; she declines.

“I’m glad you were here.” It is probably the most genuine thing she has said to the woman since she arrived and she hears the slight sniffle of response. When Bernie brings her arm around her shoulders to offer a comforting pat she finds instead that Serena turns in her arms and buries her face in Bernie’s neck, her tears dampening the skin there and Bernie feels an unexpected rush of affection, her lips tilting into the dark hair, ghosting a kiss to the crown of her head before pulling back stiffly.

Bernie’s motion stirs Serena and she leans back out of her arms. “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologise. I forget what it is like. How it was for me the first time.” Serena’s eyes meet Bernie’s and they share a soft smile, their gazes holding for what feels like an eternity before the sound of conversation nearby stirs them to their feet.

 

“You do know she’s in love with you.” Bernie looks at Serena like she is insane. “Captain Dawson. She is head over heels. She shoots daggers at me every time she catches us talking.” Bernie barks out a nervous laugh. “You mean you have not noticed?” Serena sounds incredulous as she asks the question.

“No I had not noticed but it is irrelevant anyway. I have no interest in her.” Bernie pauses, she should say more, should say she doesn’t like women, but can’t bring the lie to her lips. “I’m married.” She blurts it out. She sees Serena’s eyebrow quirk up suddenly in surprise.

“Ah that certainly is an unfortunate affliction.” Bernie is unsure what Serena means and glances up to see her eyes sparkling with mirth and suddenly she wishes she were indeed not so afflicted. “Sorry. I am a fully paid up member of the embittered ex-wives club and I sometimes forget others might be happy in their conjugal union.” Bernie opens her mouth to speak but thinks better of it and closes it once more.

They sit together for a bit longer under the darkening Afghan skies. A comfortable silence sitting between them before they both rise to leave and a tension descends. Bernie doesn’t know what the protocol for this situation is, there has never been anyone before who has so easily undone her usually tightly guarded emotions. She should have expected it really, but it is Serena who takes matters into her hands, leans over and presses her lips to Bernie’s rough cheek, her hand wrapped around Bernie’s waist for a moment and she feels the shiver that Serena draws out of her.

“Goodnight Major” Serena releases her and heads back to her quarters.

 

“I’m not happily married." It is Serena's last night on base, and perhaps this is why it is Bernie who breaks the silence of their now ritual meeting under the evening stars.

"Sorry?"

"Last night, you said I was happy in my conjugal union. I'm not happy, at least not as happy as I think I could be." Bernie is as shocked at her honesty as Serena looks at the sudden outporing and the brunette seems to hesitate, almost weighing up in her mind, which path she should take next.

She clearly decides; makes a small nod before proceeding. "I think Major, this is the kind of conversation better accompanied by a glass of wine."

Bernie chuckes quietly. "That would be lovely, such a shame we have none."

"It just so happens that I might have a very fine Shiraz stashed in my bag if you'd care to join me?"

"My, my you are a rebel." Bernie teases and Serena smirks in reply before leading her in search of wine.

"Why do you stay together with your husband?" Serena is straight to the point, perhaps emboldened by the glass of red now resting comfortably in her hand.

Bernie glances over, finds Serena's frankness reassuring rather than rude before pausing to consider her response. "It is convenient I suppose and there are the kids to think about. I know it sounds awful and Marcus is not a bad man but I can't help but wonder...." Bernie doesn't complete the sentence, falters, the words not coming that she needs and Bernie is unsurprised this time when her friend finishes the thought for her. Somehow she knew Serena understood.

"The road not taken?"

"Something like that."

"What's stopping you now?" Bernie can see an emotion flicker in Serena's eyes but she can't quite read it.

"I'm not sure I'm brave enough."

"Big macho army medic like you, I doubt that very much."

"Not with this. When you run from something your whole life, it's hard to stop running and turn and face it." Bernie feels Serena edge closer, her hand falls on top of her own, Serena's words soft and close. Oh so close.

"I believe you are brave enough." Bernie feels Serena's words ruffle her hair and she inclines her head towards her. They are so close, their foreheads almost touching and Bernie leans, their lips barely brushing each other. It is Serena who presses them together finally. It is Serena who peels away Bernie's clothes. It is Serena's name Bernie shouts out when she is finally shown how incredible sex can be.

 

They drive in silence again, the Jeep heading towards the waiting helicopter. Waiting to take Serena away, back to her real life, back to her heterosexual life; a dalliance in the desert that changes nothing for her. It changes everything for Bernie.

They shake hands as she turns to depart, the soft brush of Serena’s fingers against the hypersensitive skin of Bernie’s wrist is the only difference to the one they shared in greeting five days ago. A lifetime ago.

As the Merlin takes off and Bernie is left standing, watching until it is just a dot on the horizon. She is lost.  _Once again there was the desert, and that only_.

 

Until the IED hit. They took her to Holby, the name scratched into the very tissue of her being. Holby - the home, or maybe former home, of the woman who irreversibly changed her life one night in the heat and dust of the desert. It is ironic that they bring her here to try and fix her damaged heart, after all without Holby her heart would still be the wooden relic of all those years before, with nothing much to save.

Bernie does not ask about Serena but does wonder if she is there, just meters away from where she lies motionless listening to the two surgeons outside her room arguing like children. She has no time for it, has no patience, tells them what to do, just wants them gone. Wants them to leave her in peace to think and wonder alone.

 

She does not expect anyone to be there when she comes around from the anaesthetic. Her divorce was finalised a few years ago, the wheels set in motion that night in the sweltering heat of Afghanistan. The children barely see her. She does not know what poison Marcus dripped in their ears but they never made the effort when she was back from tours and she never asked them to.

It is a surprise then when she feels the warmth of a hand against her skin, the delicate fingertips that brush the hair from her face, the soft circles that are drawn on the underside of her wrist so very reminiscent of those very patterns made on a helicopter landing bay in an Afghan compound. Bernie doesn’t need to hear her voice or turn her head to know that she has come home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Once again there was the desert, and that only" From The Gunslinger. Stephen King.


	5. Once bitten, twice shy....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 5: Prompt Summer
> 
> Serena has called in favours a plenty to get a precious weekend away with Bernie, this was not what she had in mind.......

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its just a silly bit of summer fluffiness. There is a scene inspired by CRuss's UK road trip photos included in this. I hope you enjoy!

“Where are you taking me now, Bernie?” Serena is desperately scanning the countryside looking for the vaguest sign of civilisation. She lets out a long, and to Bernie’s ears loud, sigh of exasperation.

“Stop huffing Serena. It won’t get us there any quicker.” Bernie’s eyes impossible to read covered as they are by the sunglasses pulled down, disguising her expression. Serena can see the tightening of her shoulders, the clenching of her jaw and she realises she is probably being a bit ungrateful; maybe a lot ungrateful.

It’s just this was not what she had in mind when she had suggested a long weekend away, just the two of them.

Serena held visions of lazy mornings in bed; exploring old ruined churches, narrow twisty streets hand in hand basking in the summer sun together. Barcelona, Rome, Berlin, Brussels; crikey she would have settled for London even. Not for Bernie Wolfe though, no. Bernie was currently driving her through the Scottish wilderness; she had not seen a house for miles and a pub even longer.

At least they were together. It had taken all of Serena’s not inconsiderable persuasive skills to get Hanssen to agree to his AAU co-leads being away together for five whole days no less. Goodness knows how many favours she now owed to Ric and Raf who had stepped up to cover in their absence.

Her musing is broken by her eye catching Bernie’s twitching jaw muscle and she reaches across the console between them to give her partner’s knee a light squeeze; part in apology and part in thanks. Bernie tenses for a moment, before Serena feels her relax, and sees the tension at last drop out of her face. She turns her head, only for the briefest moment as the road, although deserted, is narrow and twisty and offers Serena a slight smile before resuming her focus on their journey.

Serena pushes her luck; slides her hand up her girlfriend’s thigh, her little finger stroking the inside lightly before Bernie’s hand shoots down and clamps hers still. “Stop that or I’ll end up wrapping this car around a tree.”

“That’d never do darling.” Serena deliberately rolling the word in her mouth seductively before her tone sharpens. “Being as I don’t have a fucking clue where we are, what would I tell the RAC when they ask? Big tree, winding road, forest? I‘d sound like a simpleton.”

“Best let me concentrate then hadn’t you darling.” Bernie replies stiffly

 

Serena had to admit it was beautiful. The pier poking out into the still, shimmering blue grey waters of the loch was stunning even if they were in the middle of nowhere. Judging by the map Bernie was studying this was not to be their destination and oh no…. Bernie had just removed an awfully big rucksack from the boot of the car.

“Please for the love of God, Bernie, tell me we have not come bloody camping.” Bernie just smiled innocently and chivvied Serena into her sturdiest trainers and set off at quite a pace with just a “Hurry up Serena, it’s about a 6 mile walk and we need to get there before dark” with a grumbling Serena trailing along behind.

 

“Bernie.”

“Hmm” Bernie was lying back on the rug, eyes closed to the bright August sunshine, her fingers trailing idly along the side of Serena’s supine body.

“The cows are staring at us.” Serena’s head was turned and was watching the nearby herd looming closer and closer.

Bernie didn’t even bother to open her eyes. “They probably just want our lunch.”

“I think that’s a bit bloody unlikely unless they are a cannibal herd, it’s beef sandwiches.”

“Just ignore them Serena.” Bernie rose to press feather like kisses to the exposed neck of her partner in hopes of distracting her from their bovine guests.

“That one is looking at me strangely.”

“Serena I really can’t seduce you properly if you are going to talk the whole time.”

“There is no chance you are seducing me with that cow looking at me like that.” Bernie raised her head, opening her eyes at last and she had to admit maybe Serena had a point. One of the herd did have a particularly unhinged demeanour about it.

“Do you want to go somewhere else for lunch?”

“Yes please. I don’t suppose there is a nice pub just behind that line of trees is there?” Bernie just smiled fondly at the woman she loved and packed their lunch things back into the bag.

 

“How about we try up here?”

Serena looks up, nearly cricks her neck doing so and lets out a loud groan. “Christ Bernie, it’s a bloody steep hill, why would you want to go this way?”

“There’s supposed to be a great view just a bit further on.”

A bit further on for Bernie, is nearly 40 minutes of solid climbing for Serena, and she has lost sight of the blonde who has barrelled on ahead. At last she could see daylight and the summit up ahead and it was with relief that she reached the top. The view was nice, lots of trees and clear skies but perhaps not the spectacular vista Bernie had promised her.

“Now what on earth up here makes that climb worthwhile?”

“Ahem.” Serena spun at the sound of Bernie’s cough. “Worthwhile enough for you?” Bernie has set out the rug and picnic things already and was laid down, entirely naked, awaiting Serena’s arrival.

Serena quirked an eyebrow. “I suppose it’ll have to do.” Her smile breaking into a smirk at Bernie’s wounded expression.

 

“Bernie, how much farther do we have to go? Can’t we just pitch that bloody tent of yours anywhere here and I can at least sit down?”

“Just a bit further I promise. There is a nice spot with a good view up ahead.”

“I quite like the view here.” Serena rakes her eyes up and down over Bernie’s tight backside and she feels an echo from their lunchtime encounter flutter through her stomach.

“Eyes on where you are going Campbell.” Bernie was grinning cheekily over her shoulder, knowing exactly where Serena’s thoughts had drifted to. Serena chuntered some more but kept trudging on, following Bernie’s lead.

“I was thinking this might be a good place for the night.” Serena followed the sound of Bernie’s voice around the bend up ahead and her jaw dropped open. It was a hotel. It was an actual hotel with beds and running water and wine.

“Have I ever told you I love you Berenice Wolfe?”

“Not recently. Mostly you have been grumbling at me.”

Serena rushes over and wraps her arms around her beautiful partner and kisses her soundly on the lips. “No more grumbling I promise.”

 

“Oh do stop complaining.”

“But it’s so itchy. I just want to scratch. Please let me scratch it.”

“No scratching, I told you already.”

“How come you haven’t been affected?”

“Well my dearest Bernie, if you will come to Scotland in the height of summer and strip down to your birthday suit in a forest, you must expect a few midge bites.”

“If I remember correctly you were naked too. Why have they only attacked me?”

“You must taste nice. I must say for once I wholeheartedly agree.”

Bernie stops scratching and smirks.

“Though perhaps to be absoluely certain." Serena has a wicked glint in her eye, "I had better just double check. For purely scientific reasons you understand." She dips her head to her partner's bite speckled skin and begins her study. Her very thorough study.

Serena forgets to grumble after that, Bernie forgets the itch. Best summer holiday yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No midges were harmed in the making of this fic....


	6. your hand touching mine. this is how galaxies collide.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 6: Prompt Smut  
> Why exactly was Bernie looking quite so smug during Parasite?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note the change in rating is for this chapter. #NSFW  
> Title from a quote by Sanober Khan  
> This is based came from an idea from tumblr - why Serena would not take Bernie's hand at the beginning of Parasite and it went a bit smutty from there.  
> If anyone knows who on tumblr it was (I can't find it for love nor money) pls let me know so I can credit them.

“Are you in a hurry?” Serena can hear the confusion in Bernie’s tone as she hurries away from the blonde, the hand she had offered in affection now trailing idly by her side.

“Oh well you know me, like to lead by example.” Serena tries to cover over her acute embarrassment at her situation with an excuse that sounds feeble even to her own ears.

“But we are half an hour early……”

 

They have already been on the ward for twenty minutes and the aching has not alleviated, not even a little bit. Serena has studiously avoided Bernie as much as she can, but they are co-leads, she can’t keep this up all day, not without Bernie really starting to notice. Serena can see Bernie headed her way once more and she averts her gaze, her hand shooting up to her neck where she feels her pulse start to race, and she turns sharply, her legs carrying her quickly away.

 

She closes her eyes and lets her mind drift back, feels the tingling from their journey in the car re-emerge, just the sight of Bernie’s fingers loosely gripping the steering wheel had brought back such vivid memories from the night before. Memories of their fingers tangling together in twisted sheets. Memories of Bernie's hand grabbing at Serena's breast in wanton desperation as Serena had teased her until she begged. Memories of Bernie’s hands pressed against the table-top next to Serena’s, tightening into a fist as she grabbed the edge of the wood. Her knuckles white with effort as she sought anything to get more leverage, thrusting harder and deeper in, Serena’s own voice crying out, screaming for her to do it, hoarse and desperate.

Memories of the firm press of Bernie’s fingers to her neck pushing her face further down and bending her double. The cool wood soothing against her burning skin; a momentary respite before Bernie is forcing the smooth silicone to grind back against her slick muscle once more, the change in angle allowing a longer, deeper thrust and she is burning, falling, screaming all over again, Bernie still plunging so hard her sweat soaked thighs are chafing against the grain of the oak dresser but the friction is too delicious, the pain is too sweet.

The sounds of the ward sharpen suddenly as the door to the ladies is opened and soft footsteps squeak against the linoleum floor. Serena stills her sliding fingers and forces her other hand to her mouth, blood roaring in her ears.

“Serena. Are you alright?” Serena can’t speak, her breath still leaving her lungs in ragged pants. She doesn’t want Bernie to find her here, fingers soaked with her own arousal, still pressed between her thighs. “Serena. I’m getting worried. Do I have to break this door down?”

“I’m fine Bernie.” Serena gasps out.

“Can you come out and talk to me please?” Serena has no choice, wipes her hand on her knickers and slides the bolt back, pulling Bernie into the cubicle with her.

“What’s….” Bernie stops as she takes in the flush of Serena’s cheeks, the lust blown pupils, her eyes tracking down to the open button of her trousers and she smirks. “Oh hello sailor.”

“It’s not funny Bernie.”

“Au contraire, this is just delightful. I never knew you were so insatiable. Last night and this morning not enough for you?”

“I can’t help it if just the sight of your fingers has a particular effect on me. I couldn’t even bear to touch you in the car park this morning. So I thought it might be better to resolve the situation before we end up operating together in theatre.” Bernie folds her arms and leans back against the opposite wall of the stall, that same smirk still playing on her lips.

“Well we can’t have that now, can we? Is there anything I can do to help?” Her eyebrows quirk and it all the encouragement Serena needs, grabs her hand and thrusts it roughly down her knickers, delights in the moan that falls from Bernie’s lips as she finds the abundance of Serena’s arousal. "Serena, you are fucking soaked."

"I blame you."

"Tell me." Bernie husks in her ear as her fingers twist inside her as far as their cramped position will allow, palm bumping against Serena's hardened clit as she presses further. "What were you thinking about?"

"You. How you had me bent over the dresser last night and you fucked me so incredibily hard. I've never orgasmed so intensely before in my life and I can't wait to do it again" Serena murmurs against her hair and it draws a desperate moan from Bernie. "Shush Bernie, that was really loud."

Bernie lowers her voice to barely a whisper. "Shit Serena. I'm going to fuck you so deeply tonight that you will not be able to walk straight for days. I'm going to enjoy watching you limp around the ward tomorrow, knowing that is it because I've ruined you, repeatedly, until your body couldn't take anymore." Bernie's breathy promise pushes Serena beyond the point of no return and a gurgle of pleasure erupts from her throat before she clamps her teeth against Bernie's shoulder and floods her fingers with her juices.

Still is still trying to regain her senses when she hears Bernie wash her hands in the sink outside, the brief hum of the ward louden and then dim again as the door shuts firmly back and Serena bumps her head back against the side of the cubicle. Her legs still wobbly and her cheeks flushed. She needs a few more moments before she will be fit to face the ward again.

 

Serena can barely take her eyes off Bernie when she finally returns to AAU. She watches her from behind the screen at the nurses’ station and doesn’t miss the little smirk on her face as she finishes giving Fletch his instructions, their eyes meeting for a moment and their most recent liaison replaying in their gaze.

In fact she is barely listening as Morven brings the new rotation of F1’s around but she doesn’t miss the smug look on Bernie’s face as she leans unfathomably close to her, arm brushing as she touches her chair.

“There is no need to look quite so pleased with yourself, Ms Wolfe.” Serena growls as Bernie moves around behind her chair again, finger lazily trailing across her shoulders and she starts back towards the ward.

“I think we’ll have to agree to disagree on that, Serena.” Bernie saunters off, hips swaying and Serena’s hand flies to neck again to stroke at her ever quicken pulse once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel so filthy.... this is not usually what I write. I hope it wasn't really bad!


	7. While you were waiting.....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 7: Prompt Reunion  
> How does it feel to wait? wait for the one thing your heart desires more than all else....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is totally out there for me... but it's what happened when I tried to write reunion.

Perhaps this is what it will be like for the rest of your days. A life of waiting. Plans so intricately made; pieces so carefully arranged; hope so tentatively built all extinguished by the whims of the fates. An aneurism here, a RTC there, a missed connection or an air traffic control strike determines your life now and the agonising void that seems to define your existence prolongs once more. Each delay more invideous than the last.

You begin to wonder while you inhabit this threshold between joy and despair, will there come a time when the lengths to which the fickle gods demand you stretch exceed the capacity of your heart to love? Will you find a place where once all the soft words of love spoken before have dried on your lips that the only word left unspoken is goodbye? It is a question to which you have no response.

For now you wait, and defy the gods. The unyielding seat which holds you now, while she cannot, providing scant comfort. The brightly coloured words against the ink black screen gladden the hearts of some and weigh on the hearts of others. They are your fellow occupants of this unenviable space; smiles and sighs tell their own stories as their cessation of this ephemeral void hastens or retreats.  
  
You see them begin. The trickle of heads bobbing through the frosted glass, each one that passes unremarked leaves you suspended in the ether just that little longer. The trickle becomes a flood, your heart beats faster, you can feel the end coming and you welcome its embrace. Finally you see your journey's-end, the steel grey hair, shorter than your dreams have depicted, the skin painted by the sun, the lines smoothed by distance, the eyes brightened by time.

You reach together to wrap your bodies as one, her touch soothing the tightness in your chest and the soft press of lips to your cheek warming your frozen heart. She leans against you and her scent fills your senses, you are alive and alight and happy. Even if just for your brief, stolen moments together.

And when the gods ask can you stretch? You cry yes, a thousand times yes, and as she speaks words of regret, you return with words of love. Words of love that shall never dry and a heart so full it shall never break.

Then she whispers apologies into your hair, bemoans the weather, the queues and the bureaucracy. Were you waiting long? she asks. You smile. And in that smile she hears the words you never need to say. I’ve waited half a lifetime for you and I’ll wait half a lifetime more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This came from a what if....what if Bernie was redeployed and she and Serena kept missing each other as they tried to meet up? 
> 
> How would the waiting feel when you had been denied your reunion for so long.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the 7 fics in 7 days.  
> Adieu Berena Appreciation Week.


End file.
